In today’s world of higher price tags and fewer hours to spend at home, the plight of the working mother thickens. Between dwindling and insufficient maternity and postpartum leave offerings, to women feeling forced back into the workplace often times much too soon for fear of losing their job, or their family losing their income. There is more on our plates today than ever before. And what does that reality mean for the working Mom of today? In a word, exhaustion. It is exhausting working two full time jobs, neither of which you feel gets the best of you. It’s exhausting to never feel fully present in anything you’re doing because sometimes your heart is in one place and your mind is in another. It’s exhausting trying to be the rockstar to your employer and the rock for your family.  Here are some reminders from one exhausted Mama to another, keeping fighting that good fight.

1. You’re just one in a very large army

I work as a consultant, so I am in the field a lot visiting clients which lends itself to me driving past a Target (or 10) within a day and occasionally popping in for an item (or 10) when I have a  break. I remember the countless times that I would look enviously upon that Mom pushing the cart with her babies inside, smiling, enjoying that special time with her kids that I was super jealous of. And then I would end up saying something salty under my breath like “doesn’t anyone work anymore, am I the only one out here doing this! (flash forward to 20 minutes later when I am crying in my car, probably from, you guessed it –sheer exhaustion).  And the answer is –YES, lots of women are working and raising kids too, and YES, they’re all tired, and YES, some jobs have different hours which lend themselves to being able to be with your kids at 12pm on a Tuesday at Target. But there’s a give and take to any situation. Next time you’re feeling alone and salty (like me) don’t forget about the waitress that works the most on the weekends, or the service women fighting for our country that are away from their families for months and months on end, or the teachers who get up at the crack of dawn but might get to be home a little earlier than the 5pm rush hour, they’re all part of your army.

2. It’s normal to feel like nothing gets 100% of you

Have you ever been in a meeting, trying to have it all together and you reach into your bag and pull out a random baby sock or a fistful of Cheerios? Or have you ever been at the park with your kids on a Sunday afternoon but all you could really focus on was the conference call you have on Monday? It’s hard to be everything to everyone, and even harder to turn it on and off when you need to. Embrace it and know that the fact that you care if your job or your kids are ever getting the best of you, means that they probably really are, and you’re just not giving yourself enough credit.

3. It’s OK to miss them

Sometimes a little distance is OK. It makes the hugs feel sweeter and last longer, and the time that you’re at home to be so incredibly special in both yours and your children’s eyes.

4. Quality over Quantity

This is so important to remember, and it applies to so many things in life including not only the relationships you have with your children, but even your friends and family members. We don’t always get to see our best friends often, but when we do, we can pick up and continue as if no time has passed. That’s because the bond there is strong, the time is special, and so the time together becomes such quality time. One precious day of smiles, enjoyment, laughter and bonding leaves more of a positive lasting impression on your children than weeks or months of busy, rushed, stressed or detached time.

5. You’ll always be – MOM

It’s so easy to feel so replaceable to everyone, including your children. But this truly is the only place in life, where it is impossible to replace you – so don’t even stress it! Grandparents, sitters, nannies and caregivers will all form special bonds with your children, and that’s a good thing for them. However, you will always be the one, the only, and the infamously exhausted, yet perfect….Mom.

6. You bear the brunt of the pain

Do you ever leave the house to go off to work for the day, or drop your kids off at daycare or at the sitters house, and feel a tug on your heartstrings as you walk away? It’s a killer, right? Well here’s some good (ish) news, you’re hurting but your kids are OK. Actually, they’re more than OK. They are happy, loved, cared for and totally resilient little creatures. And if they weren’t, then you would do something about it, because that’s what we do! So while you’re crying in your car (we’ve all done it, right? Or just me?) take a bit of solace in knowing that like so many things in our families lives, mama is taking one for the team on this one.

7. The grass isn’t always greener

My son used to go to a class at the Little Gym every Tuesday at 3pm. And every Tuesday at 3pm, I would leave my schedule open and drive down to the place and meet my Mother there (who at the time was watching my son full time), and I would spend an hour watching him take his class and have fun. It was one of my most favorite times of my week, I would look forward to it, and I’d shut down my phone and just — enjoy it. So every week without fail, I would navigate my way through the stone parking lot in high heels, race in the door while throwing my sunglasses on top of my head, shut down the phone and do my best to clear my head and just focus on him. As I would race in to find a seat, I would pass a row of moms, none of which looked like me, most of which were rocking yoga pants (which looked like heaven compared to whatever get-up I had on), with a coffee in their hand, and sometimes another kid or two in tow. Sometimes, depending on the day, I would get that feeling of envy that would sneak up on me and I would be wishing that maybe that was me. But then I would talk to one of the stay-at-home Moms that were there, whom I quickly realized was just as envious of me that I got to shower that day, or do my hair, or talk to adults! It’s always easy to see the good side of what you don’t have, but when you’re out everyday grinding, just remember, someone else is wishing they had a little piece of whatever you’re doing too.

8. They’ll be proud of you

There are a lot of ways to set a good example for our children. And often times the things that make the largest impact on them are the things we don’t set out to necessarily teach them, but those things they witness by watching and observing. I became a single Mom when my son was just 18 months old, and I had no choice but to work, and to work hard! And the thing that I always reminded myself was that I wanted my son to be proud of me. I wanted him to see his mother as someone who could balance it all, who had goals, and whose strength and determination supported him in every way. Be proud of what you’re doing and your kids will be proud of you too (and maybe even follow your lead)!

9. You are amazing

That’s it – plain and simple. You may never feel like you’re getting it right, and there are days when you may question if you have it together and are doing the right thing. But the bottom line is – that’s just parenthood. You are amazing. So keep juggling, keep pushing, keep hustling and keep your head up working mama!